Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I am sad to report that Miss Cali is in Heaven now.  We were very blessed to have such a beautiful kitty in our life and she will be missed very much.  I didn't really want to be that person blogging all about loosing my cat... but I thought an explanation of my brief pause in blogging might  be helpful.

As always I am deep in thought about the weirdest stuff. Business, personal, general adulthood- the usual... And the easiest thing is to focus on the fun stuff not the self critical nag in the pit of your stomach.  I think the lack of co-workers is a downside to my endeavors because my critical self is far worse than critiques by others sometimes!  I feel reassured that I have good ideas when I see them from someone else, but it is always just a bit discouraging making me feel somehow lost in the masses. Or when I pick up a magazine and find someone I know in them, somehow that makes me feel one step closer by association because if they can do it, I can do it.  But how or why did they get to do it and what am I doing???  

On the outside I can project myself to be a fearless female comfortable with public speaking as well as confrontation. At the end of the day however, I am only these things after years of forcing myself to fight my fears and jump in head first into any situation just to know I did it.  I am still scared, and sometimes I feel more insecure than adolescence just because there is just so many more things to worry about in adulthood.  

How now do I create and make when the act of doing so takes my heart and soul, and I am in a funk?  I made a full to-do list and had high hopes for the New Year and I missed the opportunity to get that clean slate to start from this year.  Kevin and I have a baby shower to go to on Sunday and I hope to use that as a starting point for next week and a "New Week/ New Year" kick off for meThat could work right???

The one thing that takes me out of myself and makes me happy is looking at wedding books and watching or reading about teen angst/love. Lame, I know! Oh, and collecting things :)  So, I am just going to focus on working these into the large part of my day for a while.  I get sucked into looking at blogs, books and magazines and time passes by before I can even realize! 

I have a Tumblr blog that is the place that I re-blog and dive into pictures.  Usually it is a mix of current events, cute animals, Ferris wheels, NYC City shots and amazing interior design.  Right now I think it is heavy on the parties and wedding inspirations with a dash of cute animals...
check it out if you'd like :)

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